I recently perceived, for the first time, the phrase “metric fuckton.” Language is often parroted, as is behavior, and without constant self-examination we will forget that everything we’ve ever said and done was at one point the conscious decision of some - probably now-deceased - person. Something we’ve accepted without reflection as there is far too much shit in the world to be in a constant state of reflection on every new thing. Sometimes that examination is serious and meaningful; other times its silly. For example, imagine the phrase “metric fuckton.”

A “metric” ton is a real unit of weight; I knew this, but not really what it was. I’d guess since it’s called a “ton” it’d be close in weight to an “Imperial” ton. Since there’s a hair over 2 pounds to a kilogram and metric is all based on powers of 10, I’d guess it’d be 1000 kilograms… I’d be correct.

“But isn’t that just a megagram?”

No sooner had the words left my mouth when I realized what an absurdity that word is.

(Please read in circus announcer voice)

You’ve heard of the gram. Smallest unit of weight you’ll measure on any given day. Now… let me introduce to you, it’s MUCH bigger cousin… Larger than any human can lift.. the MEGAGRAM!!

Even folks back in the 19th century people were familiar with the colloquial meaning of the “ton” and snake oil salesmen, and would arrive at the same decision that maybe “metric ton” was a bit more linguistically appealing.

Finally, I saw this on Colfax today. I like weird, but this might be a stretch.

Supplies included!